“Becoming a successful person involves the sacrifice of some experiences in order to experience more deeply the values which are connected with and which promote one’s own destiny. Having decided what we want to be and what we want to do, we must exercise some selection in the experiences we seek, choosing those which are conducive to our goals and refusing those which could deter us…I would ask you to make a commitment to your life principle and have a passion for it…in making a commitment means making a choice and a surrender – a yes, and a no. something is and something else can never e again. In making this commitment, you are putting yourself on the line. It is at this point that so many seem to collapse within arms reach of greatness and they faint at the thought of never returning…”
One of my professors shared this
quote with us at the beginning of the semester and I have referred back to it
many times since. The times I really wanted to go dancing but stayed in because I had class the next morning. Or go to brunch with friends,
but had an assignment or exam coming up. I’ve tried to remain connected, but I know
I’ve missed out on things here and there because of my commitment to school. These
are sacrifices I’ve made in order to accomplish something I’ve been working
towards for many years.
So it made me wonder…if I employed
this same mentality towards tackling other challenges I face (running late,
procrastinating, accomplishing fitness goals, etc) where would I be? We all
have setbacks, make mistakes, make excuses, etc. We come up with reasons why we
haven't accomplished x, y, z. But the truth of the matter is that we often get
in our own way of accomplishing our goals.
In the past when I've wanted to kick
a habit I'd make a 30 day contract. “30 days without chick-fil-a”. And if I
broke that contract, I’d owe a friend a certain amount of money. You may think,
okay, that’s great. People work harder when they have something to lose. Which
may be true. And that’s not to say that these 30-day contracts haven’t worked
for me. But sometimes they don’t. If we are constantly setting stakes for
ourselves, we are creating the possibility of not succeeding. We are telling ourselves
that it is okay to just try and never accomplish anything. If we are truly ever
going to come out of a situation we are unsatisfied with, the bargaining has to
stop, and we have to stop giving ourselves the option to not make things happen.
I’ve always been afraid to set concrete
goals because the self-disappointment if I don’t accomplish them is almost
unbearable. Perhaps this is why I have always been so gentle when setting
goals. Allowing myself lee-way. The option to not be successful. That probably
explains why I have never followed through with any fitness goal I’ve set
myself. I will toot my own horn and say I lost 50lbs last year simply by
exercising and eating healthy. It was a slow and gradual process. But I also
packed back on 25lbs this year by being lenient with myself one too many times.
I was 5lbs away from my goal. Let’s just say having a spoon of nutella as a
treat is one thing. But when that “just this once” treat turns into a regular
habit, before you know it you’ve gone through 4 jars in a matter of months. That’s
a problem. I know EXACTLY where those 25lbs came from lol. We allow ourselves
to “cheat” once in awhile. But before we know it, “once in awhile” has become a
habit. And we are stuck where we don’t want to be.
Monday I spent hours talking with one
of my friends. I’ve informally designated him my official unofficial trainer/motivator
during this process lol. We talked about the importance of having a vision and
making things happen. My concrete fitness goals were one of the fruits of that
discussion. Still the next day I felt the need to raise the stakes. I told him I’d
give him $200 if I did not meet my goal by May 19. I was stuck in my old mentality
that created the possibility of not succeeding. He responded with what are
among the most powerful words someone’s ever said to me: “No, you gotta learn
not to let yourself down.” Learn to not let yourself down.
Make. It. Happen. It’s that simple.
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