running reflections

Went for a run today….trees to my left, water to my right. I forgot my music. And it was cold and uncomfortable. Haven’t really run since the ½ marathon (and definitely didn't train for that in the months prior). But I will say this…as much as I don’t especially enjoy running as a form of exercise, it provides a free space of reflection that is difficult to find elsewhere. So my perspective on the matter is slowly shifting. I’d rather not run for fitness, but for understanding and peace. I seek that clarity. That split second when everything in life just makes sense and you know exactly what you’re supposed to do. Those “ah-hah” moments that rarely come when you are busy with work, school, or spending time with friends and family. A sort of active meditation. Since I can’t seem to be able to sit in one spot to do the same.

Today’s reflection involved the experience of running as a whole…one foot goes in front of the other. Sometimes you slow down. Sometimes you run faster and harder. Sometimes you walk. Sometimes you stop all together. Out of fatigue. Or simply to admire the scenery. Most of the time you’re looking ahead. But sometimes you look behind you. To see how far you’ve gone. Or realize how little you’ve travelled. If an obstacle blocks your path, you step over it or walk around. Still, one foot in front of the other. Always moving forward. At no point do we start walking backwards. So this notion of “one step forward, two steps back”…it seems like a rather negative way to describe someone who is having difficulty making progress. And if it’s not what we physically do when we’re on a path, why do we insist on carrying this cop-out of a concept into the actions we make in the path of our lives? I would rather stand still before taking another backward step (that pause would probably do us some good anyway).

I stopped at one point to take in the view (ok, I stopped several times lol). I asked for strength to overcome some recent challenges. And almost as an immediate answer to prayer, this quote by Abdu’l-Baha came to mind: “The same test comes again in greater degree, until it is shown that a former weakness has become a strength...”...i.e. "no my child, i'm not gonna make it go away" lol.

God doesn’t make things easier because all unpleasant things contribute to our growth. And they’ll keep coming back until we finally develop the qualities we need to overcome. Maybe it’s patience and detachment, maybe it’s forgiveness of others and ourselves, maybe it’s honesty, maybe it’s unconditional love and kindness, etc. And for us stubborn minded individuals, maybe it takes longer. But still, the process is a progressive one. Never recidivistic. Even with failures. We are always moving forward. I thought of the repetitive act of throwing one leg in front of the other on the pavement. With time, consistency, and perseverance, weakness and fatigue slowly disappear as muscles develop. Mind, body, and spirit. It all comes full circle.