To Battle

a poem i wrote a few years ago...

To battle.
Have I chosen all this time to ignore it?
I glance at the gruesome field
And see myself being defeated.

I look away...
Avoiding the scene will make it a dream.
Not.

I look back...
Seeing myself try to withstand the pressure of the enemy.
Frustration.

I look away...
This isn't as serious as I think.
Not.

I look back...
Seeing the enemy thrush forward and grab something from inside my armor.
Anguish.

I look away...
It's taken my soul...and yet I still appear to be functioning.
Barely. Painfully.

I look back...
My strength is unequal, yet I refuse to be defeated.
Empowerment.

I look away...
Tap into that intrinsic source of motivation.
Look back.

I look back...
Facing reality is a step towards conquering weakness.
Look back.

I look away...
And yet force myself to look on again...if I don't believe in myself, who will?
Look back.

I look back...
Trusting in my Beloved that He will not leave me to perish.
Faith.

I look back...
Praying to my Beloved that He will not leave me to myself.
Submission.

I look back...
May the rest of the battle be in His hands.
Go forth!

I look back...
Nay, I run forward!
To aid my ailing soul against the enemy.
Fight.